A Weather Report

It has been a truly dreadful week.

Monday and Tuesday were so bad that I went to church service Wednesday - even though I knew I would be late - glad for the peace, quiet, and familiarity of a liturgical service, glad to go and just be there, glad to not be responsible for all the answers to all the problems.

I know I'm not the only one in the world who looks to people on the outside to have it all together and to feel on the inside like she's holding on to the precipice during a hurricane by fingernails long overdue for that manicure.

But God knows.

Even we we think He's not listening or ignoring us or whatever.

He hears and He knows. And He gives us the strangest answers.

I went for a drive tonight to the gas station and took the long way home. I was feeling quite overwhelmed, underappreciated, overworked, and undersupported. I have offered up many prayers this week and shed many tears with no end in sight to the stressors in my life. And as I turned on the radio, I heard "I'll praise You in this storm/ And I will lift my hands/ For You are who You are/ No matter where I am/ Every tear I've cried/ You hold in Your hand/ You never left my side/ And though my heart is torn/ I will praise You in this storm".

I had to pull into a parking space and pray. I had to tell God that I was sorry for being such a demanding, whiny baby, and witholding the grateful praise He wants and desires. I've been feeling neglected because I have felt taken for granted. But I've been treating God that way, too.

I'm a firm believer that for the most part, love is a choice. I choose to love my husband, and because I make that choice, I spend time on our relationship even if that means I sacrifice my own wants and needs sometimes, just as he does because he chooses to love me.

Well, God chose me, too. And I choose to love God. That means that I have to choose to love, serve and be obedient even in the storms that buffet my life and even if God doesn't rescue me the way I think He should, or even if He says, "No".

I choose to love Him because He is the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, of all that is - seen and unseen. I choose to love Him because He loved me enough to send Jesus. I choose love Him because Jesus loved me enough to choose to sacrifice Himself to make things right.

I choose to praise Him in my storm because He chose to be there, too.

anything but typical


PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM as recorded by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls I barely hear
Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Written by Mark Hall / Music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms ©2005 Club Zoo Music (BMI) / SWECS Music (BMI) (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing) / Word Music, LLC (ASCAP) / Banahama Tunes (ASCAP) (admin. by Word Music, LLC)

Carry Your Cross

Last Friday was the first time I had been to Stations of the Cross service. It was interesting for me in spite of the sand gnats and feeling rushed.

I went back out today with my son and just walked the trail at my leisure. I thought about the stations and the trip our Lord made from Gethsemane to the empty tomb. It was a trip He made knowing full well ahead of time what lay at the end. He knew His purpose and His destiny. He knew the pain and anguish and suffering and humiliation that awaited Him. And He went anyway out of His great and gracious love for us.

Ever since I went to service on Friday, I've been singing a song to myself by Third Day. It's called Carry My Cross. It's written in first person and the speaker is Jesus. The lead singer has this deep gravely voice that fits in with my picture of the big burly "manly man" Jesus the tough guy carpenter. It's about His accepting His destiny and purpose even though it going to be hard.

A friend of ours recently sent me a letter with the definition of destiny as "a non-transferable assignment from God for the benefit of His Kingdom." That was what Jesus had. He was assigned something that no one else could do for humanity. He was the only one who could do the job and He accepted his destiny.

What destiny, what nontransferrable assignment has God given you? Are you trying to get out of it or are you accepting responsibility for your role in His kingdom?

anything but typical

Carry My Cross by Third Day

As long as I remember
I’ve been walking through the wilderness
Praying to the Father
And waiting for my time
I’ve come here with a mission
And soon I’ll give my life for this world

I’m praying in the garden
And I’m looking for a miracle
I find the journey hard but
It’s the reason I was born
Can this cup be passed on
Lord, I pray your will be done
In this world

So I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and pain
And I’ll do it for love
No, it won’t be in vain
Yes, I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame

I feel like I’m alone here
And I’m treated like a criminal
The time has come for me now
Even though I’ve done no wrong
Father, please forgive them
They know not what they’ve done
In this world

So I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and the pain
And I'll do it for love
No, it won't be in vain
I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame

Three more days and I’ll be coming back again
Three more days and I’ll be coming back again

There's Within my Heart a Melody

No, I didn't decide to abandon blogging. I just got busy. I appreciate all those who have kept looking for new posts and the e-mails asking if I was OK.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the role of music in the ministry of the church. Music is primarily seen as a performance art but performance really has no place in worship. After all, the main purpose of the worship is to adore and connect with God, not to show off.

That said, music is a powerful force. Weaving together words, rhyme, meter, and harmonics is an art form that exists in every culture. Music, even through the many permutations that exist in the world, is a constant. The spiritual, sometimes tribal, draw that music effects on us varies from individual to individual, but even some deaf people can still feel the vibrations.

Church music functions in several different ways. First and foremost, congregational music in worship is about the worship. This does not change whether a church prefers southern gospel, sacred harp, traditional hymnody, contemporary praise music, or any combination. It adds a point where the congregants can and should offer praises to God Almighty. It's about the joyful noise that the psalmist David described.

Second, music has also been a teaching tool in the church particularly in societies where literacy is not the norm or for preliterate children. This occurs for several reasons. The frequency of hymn repetition usually means that the hymns are heard more often than a specific passage of scripture. The patterns of strict rhyme and meter with frequent repetition make memorization very easy, and sometimes even unintentional as anyone who has ever had a song stuck in his head can attest. The hymns of any given church are usually screened by the powers that publish to ensure that the hymns are consistent with the doctrines of that particular denomination.

Third, in liturgical churches, there are chants, prayers, hymns, and psalms that are regularly sung as part of congregational worship and longer pieces that are chanted or sung on special occasions such as at the upcoming Holy Week and Easter services. These are also part of worship. The plainsong of chant done well musically parallels the text and augments it making it more interesting to hear than to be read to.

Fourth, special instrumental music - preludes, postludes, offertories, etc. - offer time for quiet contemplation. Congregants should take the time to enjoy the art form, but to use the sounds and melodies to help center their minds for contemplation and prepare themselves for what is to come next in the service.

Fifth, special vocal music - choirs, ensembles, individual singers with or without accompaniment offers a the advantages of a presented text (the lyrics) with the opportunity to allow the congregation time to contemplate that text. This type of music is the most problematic for most churches. It requires the most work since it means that multiple musicians - some of whom must have some training and skill - have to work together to choose appropriate music, practice, teach musical skills to those who want to learn and participate in groups, come to agreement on how the musical score should be interpreted, or even write or arrange the music desired. Depending on the complexity of the piece and the skill level of the musicians, music presented in this fashion may take months to prepare. And while it is the most demanding, it is also one of the most rewarding personally. I love to sing in groups both large and small because I love the interplay between different sounding voices and instruments. I love the way a good score can bring emphasis to the text. I love the way that music can reach into your head unexpectedly and grab your attention. I love that when I don't have the words of my own I can still have a song in my heart to speak to God or to others about Him.

Unfortunately, it is easy to see church musicians as "performers" since that is what we see in secular music. I don't think of myself as a performer. I see myself as a musican - one who practices the art and craft of music - for the glory of the Father. I'm not there to show off. My purpose is different. I desire no applause (praise should be reserved for the Savior), although an occasional acknowledgement of hard work is appreciated. And sometimes the tendency to see church music as a performing art diminishes the ability to fully appreciate it's power to move people spiritually in worship. For me, it's just part of who I am. It is how I serve, how I worship, and how I can share God's love.

anything but typical



Keep Singing by Mercy Me

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your'e the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing
Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

An unrepentant Lent

Ok, I've already messed up Lent, and I am quite unrepentant about it.

You see, you're supposed to give up all the alleluias during Lent, but I can't manage it.

Actually, I had already done it before I got home from Ash Wednesday service last night.

When I left, I had an old Gaither Homecoming CD playing (Yes, I do like Southern Gospel) and before I knew it, I was singing along.

"Hallelujah to the Lamb,
Hallelujah to the Lamb that was slain upon the tree,
By His stripes we are healed,
By His blood we are sealed,
Hallelujah to the Lamb of God."

When I got home, I had to sit in the car for a minute and pull myself together. Between the Ash Wednesday liturgy reminding us of our mortality and need for repentance, the sermon on God's constant and abiding love for us, and the honest praise offered by the singers on the CD, I could not restrain my gratitude and the tears fell. I could not stop the alleluias. They just came along with tears of appreciation for my Savior.

I'm not even actually sorry, so I did it again today.

I really believe that our recognition of our need for redemption and the acknowledgement that it is provided through the sacrifice of God's Son, Jesus, should move us to worship. Our recognition of our mortality should cause us to glorify the Holy Eternal One. It should spill out like my Hallelujahs last night. Our desire to praise and worship should overtake us and burst forth in spite of our best intentions to be sedate, serious, and contemplative.

So, I leave you with a hymn about repentance and the need for Salvation

AND hallelujahs, too!

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Hallelujah! What a Savior by Philip Paul Bliss 1875

Man of Sorrows! what a name
For the Son of God, Who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lenten resolutions

I love Lent. I think it resonates with my Baptist upbringing – you know, emphasis on sinners saved by grace, sinners who need saving. One thing I like about being in a liturgical church is the marking of the seasons of the church year: Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost.

My beloved husband isn't really fond of Lent and Ash Wednesday. He says it's a little too Catholic for him, and that's OK. It doesn't bother me a bit. You see, Lent is a period of reflection, meditation, and repentance and my husband is a pretty "prayed up" kind of guy. He reads his Bible daily, and he is a man who seeks God all year long. He takes his wedding vow of loving me as Christ loves the church seriously. He doesn't feel to need to wait for Lent to straighten himself out. It's just routine maintenance. I think he's got the right idea.

Too many of us treat Lent like New Year’s Day, and our “give up for Lent” thing last just about as long as a New Year's resolution. Giving up chocolate for Lent is not so you can lose pounds, it should be for disciplining yourself for sacrifice. I think a better choice is to think about refraining from something that gets in your way of being a Servant of Christ or adding something that makes the most of your time. Replace something frivolous with something spiritual.

Here are some ideas:

Give up your daily cappuccino and put the money you save in the alms box at church or use it to be an anonymous “fairy godparent” to a needy person.

Use your break time at work for personal prayer instead of going out to smoke or gossip.

Pass by the 9:30am tee time you could get on Sunday morning and make it to church instead.

Download the Bible into your PDA and read it instead of playing Solitaire or Bejeweled.

The thing is to have something positive come of out the sacrifice.

And, no, I haven’t settled on what my Lenten discipline will be. I’m sure God will show me something worthwhile. It may even be fun – serious fun, but still fun.

Anything but typical

Bruised and Broken

Sunday morning, my shoulders were purple.

Saturday, while some members of our church went to the Habitat for Humanity build, a few of us (and I do mean few - 4 adults, 1 teenager, and 1 young girl) worked at the church getting the Stations of the Cross trail ready for Lent. Behind my church, there is a nature trail with the Stations of the Cross. It is available all year for prayer and meditation, but every Friday during Lent, we walk the trail together and do the service and pray. The trail was originally a young man's Eagle Scout Project. Of course, he grew up as young men do, and left us this beautiful place that occasionally needs maintenance. And I am grateful to do it.

For my Baptist and other evangelical friends who are not familiar with the Stations of the Cross, it is a devotion attributed to St. Francis of Asissi and the Franciscans who would make pilgrimage to Jerusalem to trace the steps of Jesus from his sentencing to Calvary praying and meditating along the way. After a while, churches all across Europe began building stations in the cathedrals for those who were too poor, weak, or afraid of the bandits along the way to make the trip to Jerusalem. The traditional way has 14 stations, the last station being Christ laid in the tomb. Ours has 15 stations, the last station being the Resurrection, without which the rest would have just been tragic.

For me, the physical labor of renovating the trail is a great start to the Lenten season. We hauled in 200 landscape timbers on our shoulders and hauled out the old, rotted ones. As I could feel the bruises forming on my shoulders, I thought about how much worse my Savior's shoulders must have felt, bruised and bleeding, and carrying a cross much, much heavier than one landscape timber and knowing there was much worse to come.

And He did it freely because of His love for us.

His sacrifice makes my bruises look silly.

And while readying the trail for worship is a noble deed, the sacrifices God requires of us are much more serious. He expects us to give every moment, every thought, every intention, and every action to His direction. We are to join His Kingdom and to show the world His Love every minute of the day. We are to be unafraid, unashamed, and unabashedly His children.

Regardless of what others say, think, or do to or about us, we are His, bought by His sacrifice, cleansed by His blood, and marked as His own.

anything but typical


Jesus, I my Cross Have Taken
by Henry F Lyte, 1824

Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken, Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition, all I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still mine own.

Let the world despise and leave me, they have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me; Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me, God of wisdom, love and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me, show Thy face and all is bright.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure! Come, disaster, scorn and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure; with Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, “Abba, Father”; I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me.

Man may trouble and distress me, ’twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me; heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me while Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me, were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Take, my soul, thy full salvation; rise o’er sin, and fear, and care;
Joy to find in every station something still to do or bear:
Think what Spirit dwells within thee; what a Father’s smile is thine;
What a Savior died to win thee, child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?

Haste then on from grace to glory, armed by faith, and winged by prayer,
Heaven’s eternal day’s before thee, God’s own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission, swift shall pass thy pilgrim days;
Hope soon change to glad fruition, faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

God's business

Have you ever wondered just what we are supposed to be doing for our world? What does being a royal priesthood really mean?

I've been thinking about this in conjunction with a passage from Exodus where the hardheads of the nation of Israel made God so angry that he entertained the idea of destroying all of them and starting over with Moses and his family. (See Exodus Chapter 32.) If it were not for Moses eloquent and heartfelt pleading for his people, our story would be completely different.

I can't help but think that we're not any better than the children of Israel. and how hotly his anger must burn against humanity.

And who is pleading for our world now? In Jesus prayer in Gethsemane, he prayed for not only his disciples of that time, but of all time. It is clear from His conversation with the Father that we are to do His work here. I think that's more than just sitting in church waiting for orders.

I believe that as we study and learn about what Jesus did when He was on this earth we should then go and do just that. One thing that He did was to agonize over the condition of His world (Matthew 23:37-39). If He is our example, then we need to be doing the things He did.

We are to proclaim the Kingdom of God as here.
We are to speak truth and live in faith.
We are to agonize over our lost world.
We are to champion the needy.
We are to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God.
We are to sweat blood over the sacrifices we make.
We are to weep for the sins of the world.
We are to show mercy, not judgement.
We are to forgive.
We are to be a holy people.

God, help us to see our world through the eyes of our Saviour. Help us to show them what redemption looks like. Help us to be burdened for their suffering. Fill us with Christ's compassion for us so that we might truly care about the world in which we live.

anything but typical