It has been a truly dreadful week.
Monday and Tuesday were so bad that I went to church service Wednesday - even though I knew I would be late - glad for the peace, quiet, and familiarity of a liturgical service, glad to go and just be there, glad to not be responsible for all the answers to all the problems.
I know I'm not the only one in the world who looks to people on the outside to have it all together and to feel on the inside like she's holding on to the precipice during a hurricane by fingernails long overdue for that manicure.
But God knows.
Even we we think He's not listening or ignoring us or whatever.
He hears and He knows. And He gives us the strangest answers.
I went for a drive tonight to the gas station and took the long way home. I was feeling quite overwhelmed, underappreciated, overworked, and undersupported. I have offered up many prayers this week and shed many tears with no end in sight to the stressors in my life. And as I turned on the radio, I heard "I'll praise You in this storm/ And I will lift my hands/ For You are who You are/ No matter where I am/ Every tear I've cried/ You hold in Your hand/ You never left my side/ And though my heart is torn/ I will praise You in this storm".
I had to pull into a parking space and pray. I had to tell God that I was sorry for being such a demanding, whiny baby, and witholding the grateful praise He wants and desires. I've been feeling neglected because I have felt taken for granted. But I've been treating God that way, too.
I'm a firm believer that for the most part, love is a choice. I choose to love my husband, and because I make that choice, I spend time on our relationship even if that means I sacrifice my own wants and needs sometimes, just as he does because he chooses to love me.
Well, God chose me, too. And I choose to love God. That means that I have to choose to love, serve and be obedient even in the storms that buffet my life and even if God doesn't rescue me the way I think He should, or even if He says, "No".
I choose to love Him because He is the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, of all that is - seen and unseen. I choose to love Him because He loved me enough to send Jesus. I choose love Him because Jesus loved me enough to choose to sacrifice Himself to make things right.
I choose to praise Him in my storm because He chose to be there, too.
anything but typical
PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM as recorded by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls I barely hear
Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Written by Mark Hall / Music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms ©2005 Club Zoo Music (BMI) / SWECS Music (BMI) (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing) / Word Music, LLC (ASCAP) / Banahama Tunes (ASCAP) (admin. by Word Music, LLC)
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Carry Your Cross
Last Friday was the first time I had been to Stations of the Cross service. It was interesting for me in spite of the sand gnats and feeling rushed.
I went back out today with my son and just walked the trail at my leisure. I thought about the stations and the trip our Lord made from Gethsemane to the empty tomb. It was a trip He made knowing full well ahead of time what lay at the end. He knew His purpose and His destiny. He knew the pain and anguish and suffering and humiliation that awaited Him. And He went anyway out of His great and gracious love for us.
Ever since I went to service on Friday, I've been singing a song to myself by Third Day. It's called Carry My Cross. It's written in first person and the speaker is Jesus. The lead singer has this deep gravely voice that fits in with my picture of the big burly "manly man" Jesus the tough guy carpenter. It's about His accepting His destiny and purpose even though it going to be hard.
A friend of ours recently sent me a letter with the definition of destiny as "a non-transferable assignment from God for the benefit of His Kingdom." That was what Jesus had. He was assigned something that no one else could do for humanity. He was the only one who could do the job and He accepted his destiny.
What destiny, what nontransferrable assignment has God given you? Are you trying to get out of it or are you accepting responsibility for your role in His kingdom?
anything but typical
Carry My Cross by Third Day
As long as I remember
I’ve been walking through the wilderness
Praying to the Father
And waiting for my time
I’ve come here with a mission
And soon I’ll give my life for this world
I’m praying in the garden
And I’m looking for a miracle
I find the journey hard but
It’s the reason I was born
Can this cup be passed on
Lord, I pray your will be done
In this world
So I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and pain
And I’ll do it for love
No, it won’t be in vain
Yes, I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame
I feel like I’m alone here
And I’m treated like a criminal
The time has come for me now
Even though I’ve done no wrong
Father, please forgive them
They know not what they’ve done
In this world
So I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and the pain
And I'll do it for love
No, it won't be in vain
I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame
Three more days and I’ll be coming back again
Three more days and I’ll be coming back again
I went back out today with my son and just walked the trail at my leisure. I thought about the stations and the trip our Lord made from Gethsemane to the empty tomb. It was a trip He made knowing full well ahead of time what lay at the end. He knew His purpose and His destiny. He knew the pain and anguish and suffering and humiliation that awaited Him. And He went anyway out of His great and gracious love for us.
Ever since I went to service on Friday, I've been singing a song to myself by Third Day. It's called Carry My Cross. It's written in first person and the speaker is Jesus. The lead singer has this deep gravely voice that fits in with my picture of the big burly "manly man" Jesus the tough guy carpenter. It's about His accepting His destiny and purpose even though it going to be hard.
A friend of ours recently sent me a letter with the definition of destiny as "a non-transferable assignment from God for the benefit of His Kingdom." That was what Jesus had. He was assigned something that no one else could do for humanity. He was the only one who could do the job and He accepted his destiny.
What destiny, what nontransferrable assignment has God given you? Are you trying to get out of it or are you accepting responsibility for your role in His kingdom?
anything but typical
Carry My Cross by Third Day
As long as I remember
I’ve been walking through the wilderness
Praying to the Father
And waiting for my time
I’ve come here with a mission
And soon I’ll give my life for this world
I’m praying in the garden
And I’m looking for a miracle
I find the journey hard but
It’s the reason I was born
Can this cup be passed on
Lord, I pray your will be done
In this world
So I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and pain
And I’ll do it for love
No, it won’t be in vain
Yes, I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame
I feel like I’m alone here
And I’m treated like a criminal
The time has come for me now
Even though I’ve done no wrong
Father, please forgive them
They know not what they’ve done
In this world
So I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and the pain
And I'll do it for love
No, it won't be in vain
I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame
Three more days and I’ll be coming back again
Three more days and I’ll be coming back again
Thursday, March 8, 2007
There's Within my Heart a Melody
No, I didn't decide to abandon blogging. I just got busy. I appreciate all those who have kept looking for new posts and the e-mails asking if I was OK.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the role of music in the ministry of the church. Music is primarily seen as a performance art but performance really has no place in worship. After all, the main purpose of the worship is to adore and connect with God, not to show off.
That said, music is a powerful force. Weaving together words, rhyme, meter, and harmonics is an art form that exists in every culture. Music, even through the many permutations that exist in the world, is a constant. The spiritual, sometimes tribal, draw that music effects on us varies from individual to individual, but even some deaf people can still feel the vibrations.
Church music functions in several different ways. First and foremost, congregational music in worship is about the worship. This does not change whether a church prefers southern gospel, sacred harp, traditional hymnody, contemporary praise music, or any combination. It adds a point where the congregants can and should offer praises to God Almighty. It's about the joyful noise that the psalmist David described.
Second, music has also been a teaching tool in the church particularly in societies where literacy is not the norm or for preliterate children. This occurs for several reasons. The frequency of hymn repetition usually means that the hymns are heard more often than a specific passage of scripture. The patterns of strict rhyme and meter with frequent repetition make memorization very easy, and sometimes even unintentional as anyone who has ever had a song stuck in his head can attest. The hymns of any given church are usually screened by the powers that publish to ensure that the hymns are consistent with the doctrines of that particular denomination.
Third, in liturgical churches, there are chants, prayers, hymns, and psalms that are regularly sung as part of congregational worship and longer pieces that are chanted or sung on special occasions such as at the upcoming Holy Week and Easter services. These are also part of worship. The plainsong of chant done well musically parallels the text and augments it making it more interesting to hear than to be read to.
Fourth, special instrumental music - preludes, postludes, offertories, etc. - offer time for quiet contemplation. Congregants should take the time to enjoy the art form, but to use the sounds and melodies to help center their minds for contemplation and prepare themselves for what is to come next in the service.
Fifth, special vocal music - choirs, ensembles, individual singers with or without accompaniment offers a the advantages of a presented text (the lyrics) with the opportunity to allow the congregation time to contemplate that text. This type of music is the most problematic for most churches. It requires the most work since it means that multiple musicians - some of whom must have some training and skill - have to work together to choose appropriate music, practice, teach musical skills to those who want to learn and participate in groups, come to agreement on how the musical score should be interpreted, or even write or arrange the music desired. Depending on the complexity of the piece and the skill level of the musicians, music presented in this fashion may take months to prepare. And while it is the most demanding, it is also one of the most rewarding personally. I love to sing in groups both large and small because I love the interplay between different sounding voices and instruments. I love the way a good score can bring emphasis to the text. I love the way that music can reach into your head unexpectedly and grab your attention. I love that when I don't have the words of my own I can still have a song in my heart to speak to God or to others about Him.
Unfortunately, it is easy to see church musicians as "performers" since that is what we see in secular music. I don't think of myself as a performer. I see myself as a musican - one who practices the art and craft of music - for the glory of the Father. I'm not there to show off. My purpose is different. I desire no applause (praise should be reserved for the Savior), although an occasional acknowledgement of hard work is appreciated. And sometimes the tendency to see church music as a performing art diminishes the ability to fully appreciate it's power to move people spiritually in worship. For me, it's just part of who I am. It is how I serve, how I worship, and how I can share God's love.
anything but typical
Keep Singing by Mercy Me
Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your'e the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing
Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the role of music in the ministry of the church. Music is primarily seen as a performance art but performance really has no place in worship. After all, the main purpose of the worship is to adore and connect with God, not to show off.
That said, music is a powerful force. Weaving together words, rhyme, meter, and harmonics is an art form that exists in every culture. Music, even through the many permutations that exist in the world, is a constant. The spiritual, sometimes tribal, draw that music effects on us varies from individual to individual, but even some deaf people can still feel the vibrations.
Church music functions in several different ways. First and foremost, congregational music in worship is about the worship. This does not change whether a church prefers southern gospel, sacred harp, traditional hymnody, contemporary praise music, or any combination. It adds a point where the congregants can and should offer praises to God Almighty. It's about the joyful noise that the psalmist David described.
Second, music has also been a teaching tool in the church particularly in societies where literacy is not the norm or for preliterate children. This occurs for several reasons. The frequency of hymn repetition usually means that the hymns are heard more often than a specific passage of scripture. The patterns of strict rhyme and meter with frequent repetition make memorization very easy, and sometimes even unintentional as anyone who has ever had a song stuck in his head can attest. The hymns of any given church are usually screened by the powers that publish to ensure that the hymns are consistent with the doctrines of that particular denomination.
Third, in liturgical churches, there are chants, prayers, hymns, and psalms that are regularly sung as part of congregational worship and longer pieces that are chanted or sung on special occasions such as at the upcoming Holy Week and Easter services. These are also part of worship. The plainsong of chant done well musically parallels the text and augments it making it more interesting to hear than to be read to.
Fourth, special instrumental music - preludes, postludes, offertories, etc. - offer time for quiet contemplation. Congregants should take the time to enjoy the art form, but to use the sounds and melodies to help center their minds for contemplation and prepare themselves for what is to come next in the service.
Fifth, special vocal music - choirs, ensembles, individual singers with or without accompaniment offers a the advantages of a presented text (the lyrics) with the opportunity to allow the congregation time to contemplate that text. This type of music is the most problematic for most churches. It requires the most work since it means that multiple musicians - some of whom must have some training and skill - have to work together to choose appropriate music, practice, teach musical skills to those who want to learn and participate in groups, come to agreement on how the musical score should be interpreted, or even write or arrange the music desired. Depending on the complexity of the piece and the skill level of the musicians, music presented in this fashion may take months to prepare. And while it is the most demanding, it is also one of the most rewarding personally. I love to sing in groups both large and small because I love the interplay between different sounding voices and instruments. I love the way a good score can bring emphasis to the text. I love the way that music can reach into your head unexpectedly and grab your attention. I love that when I don't have the words of my own I can still have a song in my heart to speak to God or to others about Him.
Unfortunately, it is easy to see church musicians as "performers" since that is what we see in secular music. I don't think of myself as a performer. I see myself as a musican - one who practices the art and craft of music - for the glory of the Father. I'm not there to show off. My purpose is different. I desire no applause (praise should be reserved for the Savior), although an occasional acknowledgement of hard work is appreciated. And sometimes the tendency to see church music as a performing art diminishes the ability to fully appreciate it's power to move people spiritually in worship. For me, it's just part of who I am. It is how I serve, how I worship, and how I can share God's love.
anything but typical
Keep Singing by Mercy Me
Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your'e the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing
Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing
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